How I Lost My Courage

Yesterday, I thought about the Wizard of Oz, or Wiz for those of you that prefer the Afro themed version with Diana Ross, reference. And how it correlated with my inability to Let Go and try new things.

Day after daY, I sit at work and ask myself… What I doing? Am I wasting my talent by ignoring by dreams or by making half ASS attempts at my HOPES. Can I excel by risking it all? And how much is too much to RISK?

This is where I am, A TRANSITION period, I attempted to live in my fantasy WORLD and be content with the harsh reality that lay in front of me. But to Hell with that, If I am being honest I am not happy with the idea of working a 9-5. And you know what? I don’t have TO BE. I Just have to work vigilantly and be fearless.

At some point, in my adulthood I felt the DESIRE TO settled for being SAFE. No more ex

quote-cowardice-is-submissive-surrender-to-circumstances-martin-luther-king-144-79-62

ploration. I told myself today that the answers to my questions can’t be found within the safety ZONE. Now I realize that is not the case.

I can still recall watching the WIZ, as a child, I was so shocked by the fear and overall cowardice of the LION. In my childlike state, all I could think was, does he know WHO HE IS?  Now as an adult, I look in the mirror at my worrisome face and I finally clarity came in the form of a question. Who are you? And are you living in your purpose? 

You can only fear what you don’t know or a reality you believe you are incapable of facing. A LION unaware of his place in the JUNGLE can not live in it. Right now, I am in a jungle reinforced by concrete and trains, subs and buses, babies crying and mamas fusing and the city rarely sleeps because someone is always up to something.

Nevertheless, I must excel for the sake of self -if no other. This is my time to be selfish in my pursue of the truth as I understand it. Too long I have sat around lowly company attempting to keep my head down and not seem too ambitious -but I am. It affects me every day. As the things that I don’t do during the day eat away at my night filling my dreams with night time terrors.

What if I can not survive? What if this is my end? But in REALITY, I NEVER even tried. Before I look my 30s in the face, I need to conquer something other than mediocrity in my 20s. Maybe I am sharing too much, maybe I am thinking too critically but I just wanted to let people going through the struggle of transitioning career paths know that they are not alone and they are capable of achieving almost anything as long as they are courageous.

I will give in update in a month, progress is no easy task master. Have an awesome day.

 

Sincerely,  AJ Unique

2 thoughts on “How I Lost My Courage

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